littlest things

2010-05-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

feel like i'm shrinking into a hole.

2010-04-27T22:29:00.002+08:00

commitment.

something all girls want.

i mean, what's the point of being in a LTR when commitment is not involved?

(almost) 6 years is a long time for a relationship. we're almost 24 and have been tgt since we were 18, for goodness sake!

mention of commitment only came up once and that was when you were in trouble.

after that, nothing.

what happened to whatever was mentioned?

is it only when something bad happens then you will start thinking about the future?

and the reason why i opposed to getting the macbook --> not because i feel that it is a waste of money or what. it just shows the willingness to stick to what was said.

what happened to starting to save money?

at the rate that everything is going, do you really expect me to wait till i'm 30? sorry, but that is totally not ideal for me.

i dont see the slightest willingness to start. i dont even see the first step being taken.

look around us.

what is happening around us?

isnt it funny? the people who have dated the longest dont even have a single goal in place.

if you feel that it wont happen, just tell me. then i will know what is going to happen in the future. just dont keep me hanging on to promises that are not going to be fulfilled.

this will probably be the last time i am going to mention anything about this.

remember,

commitment.

2010-04-26T22:47:00.002+08:00

have not blogged in exactly a month.

sudden pang of longing for korea as usual.

wish i were back there.

seriously if i dont go back there in december this year i think i will go crazy.

kinda regret hong kong trip. should have planned for korea instead. i can sacrifice everywhere else just for korea.

sigh sigh sigh.

2010-03-26T11:30:00.002+08:00

1, 2, 3, 4, again 1, 2, 3, 4

Stars, I'm going crazy

No matter how many times I look at you, I can't see you, oh baby

Because of the tears in my eyes, all because of you

My crying face that is reflecting above the spread letters, oh baby

I promised myself I wouldn't cry again, but I'm crying again

What do I do, I don't know what to do, what to do

This is me, I don't know why I'm going crazy like this

All because of you, really because of you

I can't do anything, I

Love you as much as the stars, stars, stars, stars

I came for you to find you, you're that far shining star

Stars, stars, stars, no matter what I say

I really can't express myself

I'm frustrated now, what should I do now

No matter how many times I count, I can't see the end, oh baby

Because of all the memories that are in my heart, I think of you again

I couldn't say everything I wanted to so I say them to myself, oh baby

I want you back, I want to go back to your side

I'm pleading to you, please, I'm pleading to you

To the sky, my prayer goes to the sky

Cheer me up, cheer me up

Please, where are you now

Stars, stars, stars, stars, talk to me

Is it over? Is that it? Answer me, don't just laugh

Stars, stars, stars, stars, I'm pleading to you

Just for once, my love

Let me fly to your side

Star, star, star, ooh baby, star, star, star, oh

I love you as much as the stars, stars, stars, stars

I came for you to find you, you're that far shining star

Stars, stars, stars, no matter what I say

I really can't express myself

I'm frustrated now, what should I do now

2010-02-02T00:28:00.002+08:00

upset.

you dont seem to get it.

seems like i am the only one sacrificing myself.

when i need help, none given.

everything that is yours, you kan de hen zhong.

whatever tht is mine, of course you dont really care. only bother abt stuff benefitting to you.

what makes you so sure i have no plans on how to spend my cny money? just take it for granted tht it can be readily available to you.

yet now when all i'm asking is just a small amount to tide me over for a week, straight no to my face complete with excuses.

for your info i only have 2 sets of cny clothes, total cost not more than $100, including a pair of shoes.

and i spend money on things that i like, why must you say tht i'm wasting money?

at least what i spend on makes me happy, what i spend on are things i enjoy.

i just dont get it. you dont seem to understand me at all.

i dont see why you dont seem to not care. do you know my wrist hurts? i cant turn it properly, i cant carry heavy stuff. DO YOU EVEN KNOW?! apparently you dont. and you dont know what is your limit when it comes to playing. dont see me twisting your joints till the pain is so unbearable. i swear if you had twisted a little more you would have broken my wrist. it was THAT painful.

apparently you're oblivious to lots of things, and i dont see why i have to keep pointing out to you.

all i can say is that, i am upset. by how selfish you are, and how you only seem to care about yourself.

2010-01-19T00:00:00.002+08:00

sigh pie.

emo elmo-ing.

feel bad for abandoning this space. i used to blog so often. sigh.

wonder who still comes to this little space of mine....

tumblr causes one to be emo.

So much about this crazy game they call love
That I'm trying to understand,
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man

bommie unnie, i know how you feel......

2010-01-08T00:14:00.002+08:00

have not been blogging for an extremely long time.

school is starting soon, and the holidays just flew past.

as everyone knows, i went to korea during the holidays for a record-breaking 13days. I LOVED IT and further confirmed that i am indeed a korean born into a singaporean body.

sigh. somehow i feel like i came back from korea as a different person. korea changed me, not just my thinking but even my dressing and way of life. i no longer listen to local radio and hardly watch local television. my computer and iphone are my best friends now, for they connect me to the internet whereby i have access to korean news, korean dramas, korean music.

jiyong baby seems to be having a tough time now. neither am i feeling great due to his impending court case. given the chance, i'll surely purchase a ticket to korea and camp outside ho sung building right now. i hope he's doing fine and coping well. we cant let another jay issue happen. sigh...

2009-11-22T03:30:00.003+08:00

uber excited to the max max max!

i think today is also a good day for me.

jiyong dyed his hair black and is totally rocking haruharu hairstyle ver 2.0.

i am half convinced tht jiyong loves me.

i think i was like the only person who did not really dig his blonde?! and he knows that i'm heading over to korea to see him so he dyed his hair back to black.

(ps, pls dont dye it back to blonde just for your concert!)

i dont think he will right?! he's probably moved on from the blonde.

i fell straight back into love/~~lust~~ with him. totally.

need to sleep, but too damn excited!!!! HFULGYUASYDUHEYFDJHBVJKGIKRYUIODLAISYO!!!!!!!!!!!! too much happiness and excitement is still flowing in my bloodstream!!!!!

baby, wait for me ok. i'll be there soon!

2009-11-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

sometimes, you feel as if there is nothing left, nothing interesting or exciting anymore.

but when you see him and you literally feel your mood lift, you know that something is still there.

and you just wish that you could snuggle up with him everynight and when you do get to do it, it just feels so....nice.

:)

2009-10-26T18:40:00.007+08:00

its time for the annual birthday wishlist again!!!

Longchamp Long Handle Le Pilage Large Tote:

Bilberry or Navy(preferably)

check it out here!

Gmarket Gift Certificates:

DKNY Be Delicious Fresh Blossom:

Gucci Envy Me:

i really love this fragrance!!

*muacks!!!*

*this list in in accordance of preference!!*

2009-10-22T23:58:00.003+08:00

i may have gotten myself into this mess, but i'm not the only one!

why does bad luck befall on me this entire year?

i dont recall doing anything extremely bad to accumulate so much bad karma.

fuck this, really really depressed abt everything. tht bloody place in nanyang is sucking the life out of me.

i'm definitely gonna end up with some mental disorder soon.

2009-09-22T22:07:00.003+08:00

fucking miserable.

desperately trying to claw my way out of this hellhole that i have dug for myself.

fuck fuck fuck.

is ~~death~~ really the only way out?

i honestly feel myself going insane.

i really really desperately want to get out of this.

fuck i really shouldnt have dug this fucking hole for myself to fall into.

they're burying me alive, throwing the earth onto me and preventing me from crawling out, suffocating me and slowly but surely killing me...

2009-09-16T00:39:00.003+08:00

self-declared president of MILK club (sg version).

according to lee teuk, MILK club (우유클럽) is the gathering of depressed souls, and also a support group for depressed people. however, MILK also stands for Made In Lovely Kin, meaning the group is formed for a lovely kinship??

sigh..never mind, dont know what i'm talking about anyway.

been hit by the emo bug lately. feeling comes and goes, most of the time, i feel my heart sinking deeper and deeper.

who will join me in my 우유클럽??

2009-08-27T22:22:00.001+08:00

Stay

Can you feel me now
Take a deep breath and let me explain
All the pain that's been wreckin my brain
Gettin so close to goin' insane
And see you standing there
And the feelin' never gonna be the same
seems like we missed the whole damn train
Blame is all we have for us

And I can let in get in the way
Even if the love is the costly price to pay
Lookin' back like love was the game oh cliche
Gotta move away sacrifice my heart and let you breath again baby girl

Everything is too late now,
The way she never spoke at times,
That our relationship was becoming solitary,
Now that I'm alone

Honestly...
Her being by my side was something I thought was natural,
The mail I sent; User unknown

In the empty closet,
The promise ring we chose together for her birthday,
Lays in the corner

Before the door closes, baby please don't go away,
I regret not expressing my feelings, want you to stay,
Although I come to regret now, I know it's late,
There is nobody who can take her place,
I want you to stay, want you to stay

The last words, yes,
They were 'Thanks' rather than 'Take care'
It shows it's the end, getting over me

It's the proof that I could not give what she wanted,
The key of the mail box, End of the story

The night will come in the room I'm alone in,
I can't see the lady who would be smiling in pictures

There will be no chance that I can forget you,
Baby please don't fade away,
You won't erase all day,
Want you to stay,
Because it makes me this sad, I know it's late
Her existence which I had to keep,
I want you to stay, want you to stay

2009-08-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

simply dont understand.

why cant i have my own thoughts?

if this is not force then what is force??

upset upset. dont understand why my life is like this.

is this the way my life will be for the rest of my life???

one huge regret.

why didnt i insist on going to UNSW!?!? why didnt i insist on korean studies??

one thing led to another. now i am stuck in this fucked up life.

this isnt what i want, but i realised it too late.

what can i do now? seems like only 2 choices. death or just stick with it.

wonder which one i'll end up choosing?

2009-08-17T23:00:00.001+08:00

why i love you:

- your smile
- your genius-ness
- how versatile you are, one moment you are cute as hell, next moment you're sexy as hell
- how you always seem to be lost in your own world when doing something silly
- your dorkiness
- your silliness
- how hard you work
- how you care for your members
- how you cover your mouth shyly when you LOL
- your fashion sense

all in all, i love everything about you.

사랑해요권지용, 생일척합니다!!!!~

2009-08-15T00:25:00.013+08:00

annyoung!

am in a good mood today after watching ygtv! love 2ne1 and big bang..chyuu!!

recently got a haircut. i like it! but...not everyone does. T_T you be the judge?

kwi yeo da! no? nan cho ah!! ^^

after watching ygtv, i am reminded of my newly bought vitamins! have to eat vitamins and be a health freak like bommie!

dont touch my kun kang shik poom~!!! have to eat 3 everyday! -_-"' *sweats* i feel like my tummy is full of water now..=\

watched GREAT concert yesterday and spotted really HOT GDYB moment!! zhi and i went crazy~

and look at my sookie stackhouse series!! almost complete! the top row are books i have finish reading (last book on the right is in the process of being read), bottom row are entirely new! *ban jak ban jak*

happiness man! all of my favourite things!! ^^v

okie my mask is done, i wanna go read now and redo my nails! kekeke...

2009-08-11T00:14:00.003+08:00

gotta say, BB day today was JJANG! JJANG JJANG JJANG!!

and coming back to a new ji release, heavenly!

i felt loved today, i dont know why.

ate very little, but i think i got full on laughter and love. ^^

the only regret, we didnt selca!! =(

tmr, school starts. can i just have more holidays so i can just stay home and spazz??

sigh...

anyway, i still love my crescent babes the most! nobody can ever replace you all! ^^

2009-08-07T01:53:00.000+08:00

am stalking ji on me2day.

seriously. i need to get a life. yet, i cant stop refreshing his page every 2minutes!!!

i cant stop wondering what goes on between posts..what is he doing up so late..is he working on his album?! and why does he use so many different phones to upload picture? what was his reaction after he realised that he posted a photo of his dog instead of the intended photo of a bottle of vitamin water?!

damn it.

need to stop obssessing. it is unhealthy for me!!! T_T

2009-08-05T15:38:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!

i'll be doing a course on CHILDREN'S LITERATURE!!!

*SCREAMS*

i've looked through some of the books chosen by the tutors, and they include charlotte's web, harry potter,roald dahl etc!!

heaven!! i hope i get the class with the interesting books!

a good reason to read!

anyway, the jiyong-detox is an epic fail. upset. i think i'm overthinking. feeling emo on the whole jiyong issue. silly, isnt it? cant seem to explain why i'm feeling this way. i guess its just a phase that i always go through with people who matter. (sung and jiyong for the moment).

looking forward to the 10th! meeting up with the girls to mindlessly spazz over big bang. i may have a surprise in store for you all! *crosses fingers* =D

***
seriously, i am speechless and in awe after watching big show's BTS. the boys have worked hard and are working hard still. i want to noona them so bad, they really need to be taken care of. ji being dropped onto the floor by ri is heartbreaking! ji's sweat is heartbreaking. ji's yawn is heartbreaking. ji's tiredness all over his face is heartbreaking. ji's paleness is heartbreaking.

yet, ji's smiles and laughter are heart-stopping. =D

you just have to keep smiling ji, so we dont worry too much. we take comfort that at the end of a tiring day, you're doing what you love most. =)

2009-08-03T01:28:00.004+08:00

dear jiyong,

i know you're under tremendous stress, and its not that i want to add on to your stress on purpose, but i am SO looking forward to your solo album.

everyone has high expectations of you, just cos you are the genius behind lies, last farewell, haru haru and so on. just cos you came up with look at me gwisoon on the spot. just cos you are THE kwon jiyong.

we love you tremendously, and we want you to be well and at your best when you launch your highly awaited baby. just take it easy, cos we will love you no matter what.

i KNOW for sure, that your album is gonna rock. and i KNOW for sure that i will be loving it and all the performances to come. i KNOW for sure it will sell well.

just cos you are KWON JIYONG, and there is no one else like you.

always behind you,
kiki

2009-08-02T19:13:00.002+08:00

finally my suffering is over. right now, i jus wanna put the horrible ordeal behind me.

comforted myself on friday by watching BIG SHOW! arrived on monday but i was jus TOO BUSY to watch it.

too many emotions while watching it. cant wait to watch it with the girls on the 10th!! i think it will be an interesting day.

next week will jus be relaxing and enjoying myself. i'm gonna spend my days in bed with my ebooks and jus read all day long.

hopefully next sem's timetable will be forgiving and timing is all good. and hopefully there will be friends with me! i'm missing my NIE girls (and maybe guys). so much gossiping to do!! =D

life motto for now: only look forward and not back. too fast to live, too young to die. =P

2009-07-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

upset....really upset.....

why is this happening to me??

i just dont get it........

it really upsets me....i'm feeling so so miserable now....

have not been happy ever since this started.

why why why???

2009-07-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

tried my best yet not good enough.

nobody understands how i'm feeling.

i thought you would understand, but you dont.

there's only one way out.

goodbye goodbye goodbye.

2009-07-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

how many times have i wished for a different life?

almost everyday, i wished that i led a different life, tht my life turned out differently.

when will i be able to....?

will this longing end?

will i ever end up somewhere which satisfy me?

yet, how will i know that that is the end to my search? how will i know that there is nothing better than that?

life is jus full of unanswered questions.

2009-07-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

freaking freaking sick of this shit. this is the closest that i have ever come to giving up.

everyday is shit after shit after shit, never ending supply of shit thrown at me.

i'm so damn tired, really so close to jus ending everything once and for all.

doesnt help when nobody really understands.

i'm so tired....so so so so so tired......

what can i do....i cant take it anymore.....

2009-07-17T00:35:00.002+08:00

as usual, disappeared from the face of the earth.

dont know what happened, dont really have the energy to care.

seems like you dont really care abt me as well.

i'm really tired, and not feeling good. yet, there isn't even a peep of a sound of concern frm you.

why cant you take the initiative to come down to my place to find me? why is it always me who has to go all the way to the east to find you?

simply dont understand. jus makes me wonder if you care abt me as much as i care abt you.

2009-07-15T22:50:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired mentally...cannot take it anymore....

mental breakdown #1 already occured. mental breakdown #2 is jus waiting to happen.

feeling like no matter what i do is nv good enough.

i just want to give up...i want to quit...i really cant take it...

everyday, jus get negative comments everyday. not a single positive one. work work work never ending and non stop yet still piling higher and higher.

nobody understands what i'm going through...even when i talk abt it nobody seems to care.

i'm really tired. sleeping like not sleeping, subconsciously thinking of lesson plans and wake up with lesson plan on my mind.

what am i going to do...i just want to fall incredibly sick so i dont have to suffer everyday.

i rather suffer physically than mentally...

cant take it cant take it cant take it cant take it cant take it cant take it......

mental breakdown #2 happening right now....

awaiting #3, #4, #5, #6 and so on........

2009-07-06T01:36:00.003+08:00

i myself is on the verge of a mental breakdown. everyday fretting over a problem tht is not mine.

you call yourselves friends. bull shit. friends dont do tht to friends. do you know how many people you all have implicated into this?

this anger and resentment towards all of you will nv die down. too many chances given and misused.

remember, i am a scorpio. i bear grudges. not giving face anymore from this moment.

bitch abt me behind my back and say all you want. this is a result of your doings. my conscience has been clear since day one, i treated all of you with sincerity, yet was backstabbed time and time again. promises broken, and being treated like dirt by you all.

sorry, this "friendship" is officially over.

2009-06-13T01:10:00.003+08:00

leading a have-bf-but-feels-like-no-bf life.

no calls or sms. smses to you not replied, calls ended abruptly.

no meetings.

ages since we went out tgt. past "dates" were cancelled/forgotten due to whatever reasons.

simple requests not met.

whatever.

maybe you think i am ok with it, but i'm not.

but now i dont care anymore.

one putting in effort while the other doesnt is tiring.

guess who's the tired one.

2009-06-12T02:17:00.003+08:00

omg ronaldo is going to real madrid! just when i was getting used to him, not to mention his incredibly hot body. damn it.

i'll miss this:

and this:

goodbye ronaldo and your incredibly hot body. your body will be missed. =(

2009-06-08T22:38:00.005+08:00

i know this is like the n-th time tht i'm saying this, but i'm really really dying for KOREAN CLASSES!!! GAHHHHHHH! honestly, this is upsetting me...=( after my driving i'm going to sign up for korean classes!

speaking of driving, i finally had my 2nd lesson today. totally nerve-wrecking cos i had to drive on the main roads and do totally tough stuff like u-turn and lane change! omg my right leg was cramping up and my knuckles hurt after class cos i was griping the wheel so tightly!

after class, i went to imm to shop for vampire books! surprisingly, popular had the 1st book to the sookie stackhouse series. grabbed it immediately and now i cant stop reading. bought another vampire series but have not started yet. waiting for true blood season 2!! oh yea. i'm kinda pissed tht i didnt get the collector's set for twilight. didnt expect popular to stock it! it comes in tht nice little box to house all the twilight books!! now my books are all slightly mangly, bought book covers to make them look a little prettier but new moon seems a little bigger?! cant fit into the book cover i bought! zzz.

ok gonna head back to my books! *happy*

[edit @ 2.46am] omg i finished my sookie stackhouse book!! in 7hrs! damn it! contemplating if i should order the rest from kino...feel so deprived after finishing one book. =(

anyway i was jus recapping my driving lesson jus now, and i cant wait to get my license la! driving is like damn fun!! its like playing real-life daytona. hah! but one thing i cant stand about my instructor is when he says "一点点" he doesnt really mean it! i took it literally and he say i didnt turn at all. -_-"'

another random thought. i was asking kang if he wants his daughter to be like 小西瓜 from 百万小学堂 or more like wonderbaby. and he actually said wonderbaby. -_-!!

2009-05-27T15:27:00.004+08:00

had the weirdest parky dream.

dreamt tht i was at ____ stadium watching barca vs man u match live. parky was on bench.

during half time, the stadium was super empty, could see parky clearly frm where i sat. and weirdly, i made some parky banner and was holding it up. jia and zhi(i think) were on the other side of the stadium. i saw them approaching parky with their own banners and asked parky for autograph. immediately charged over to their side and asked them to help me also.

they helped me pass my banner to parky, and parky was signing autographs with some weird sky blue coloured marker. apparently my banner was in korean and i made many stupid mistakes. parky came up to me with my banner and started correcting my banner for me. -_-"' in the end, he signed it with tht sky blue marker of his.

score till half-time was 0-0, but man u had some goal difference advantage thingy? so the score was 5-4. weird. berbatov made a huge ass mistake and failed to score an open goal. his header went over the bar. the entire stadium was boo-ing him like crazy and protesting against him, asking fergie to sub parky on and take berbatov off. HAHA!

have no idea why but i left the stadium during half time!! am i crazy or what!! didnt get to see the final score.

WEIRD ASS DREAM.

oh yea, please comment at cbox on the left. comments at the end of post not working. =(

2009-05-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

BEST.

maybe now you'll believe me.

2009-05-12T19:45:00.003+08:00

test date booked, first lesson will commence next week. am feeling really nervous abt it. hope i do well and dont endanger the lives of anybody. -_-"'

now i'm thinking if i can afford a car or not. sigh. will i get a pay rise in july?? thinking of getting jus a 2nd hand swift or picanto even, but no white picantos available now. swift is going at 30+k, which means abt 300+ per month for installments. sigh.

still going to be tough on me to survive if i do get a car. hope hope hope for pay rise and economy to go back up so bonus will be good!

2009-05-06T10:13:00.006+08:00

been playing restaurant city like mad lately. jus spending time staring at my screen and watching customers come in and out of my restaurant. HAHA

finally called a driving instructor up just now. sounds like a nice guy (thanks to cheng's intro!). will head down to bbdc to apply for pdl next week! woo~ the instructor said the earliest test date is july. OMG so fast can apply for test date!?!? *nervous*

hope to get braces by this year. want to have nice nice teeth!

am amazed by parky lately. he scored again yesterday!! still cant get over ronaldo's yummilicious body!! =D~ starting to get used to messi's new haircut! super cute!!

*^&^*%^$#$%#$%%&**^*&%!!!!!! *spasms*

sick of the silly 2-week course thingy tht we have to attend. learning about journalism all over again and exactly what is the link in journalism and what we are gonna be doing in the future? if only they could exempt me from it; i'm jus re-learning whatever i have learnt previously. =(

super sleepy now, wanna go back to bed!!!

2009-04-30T22:27:00.003+08:00

i cannot stop looking at this picture:

she's damn gorgeous can!! i want to look like her! as thin as her, as beautiful as her, as fair as her!

if only plastic surgery was painless; i'd definitely go for it! dont worry, i wont really go for it. i cant even afford braces, how to afford plastic surgery?!

for now, jus diet diet diet diet. please please give me the determination to stick to it!

2009-04-28T15:20:00.003+08:00

i had the most awesome hyun joong dream ever!

it started out with me and friend (omg i forgot who is the friend!) in this huge auditorium place. and then suddenly hyun joong was sitting beside me and f3 were in the row in front of us. then hyun joong and i were talking about everything under the sun, and he gave me a sweater to wear cos it was really cold. then there was a tv in front of us, and it was playing random stuff. suddenly, it started playing all of hyun joong's commercials back to back! i was so amazed and looked at him and he was amazed too! haha.

then i sorta commented tht if they played another of his commercial, it'd be so funny (i was specifically naming out his commercial, but i think its jus part of the dream, not a real commercial tht he did). and then, lo and behold! they showed BOF and episode 21! right where i stopped watching. at this point, i was sms-ing zhi and telling her "eh i'm having my own personal 'farewell jihoo' party!". haha!

so throughout this entire thing, hyun joong and i were chatting like old friends, and i was jus observing him throughout the BOF episode. he jus looks so serene and calm, and really tired.

i think halfway through, they needed to leave, so the show was stopped. before leaving, their managers held out plastic bags with their personal info in it. at this point of time i was a tiny bit worried tht hyun joong was just faking everything. thankfully, he went to get one of his personal particulars (written on a postcard) and sprinted back up the steps of the auditorium to give me! i think he gave me only. HAHA! so i told him to take care and hope he'll keep in touch. ;P

so they left, and i hung around in the auditorium for awhile more. realised i was still wearing the sweater tht hyun joong gave me! oh well, he already left, what to do? hehehe.

such an amazing dream, but i just couldnt put it into words properly. you know when you wake up from a dream, most of the small details get forgotten? totally what's happening to me. the dream was definitely much sweeter and much much more amazing!

2009-04-24T16:37:00.002+08:00

holy crap. robert pattinsson is kinda hot. with the british accent. MMMMM.

been following up on ET's news and interviews on new moon. ahh ahh ahh!! i cant wait! and robert is seriously HOT.

interviewer: if you were her(bella's) sister, who would you want her to date?
robert: edward's wealthier!

HAHAHAH! cute!!

ok ok..just 7 more months...7 more months....

2009-04-23T16:22:00.003+08:00

all the hype abt new moon is making me really excited! (though new moon is one of my least favourite books of the saga due to absence of edward!)

oh well, will re-read it again since i already know when edward will be back, no more reading just for the sake of getting edward back!

ah ah ah ah!! ok so in the film edward does appear! accordin to robert pattinsson, “(In the film) it’s an illusion when he appears. I think if you do it with voiceover as they do in the book, it would end up being quite cheesy" so edward does appear! as an illusion!

omg my days are filled with digging up new moon news. =( i cant wait.

and a director has been chosen for eclipse! how exciting! now there's only breaking dawn left!

2009-04-20T04:18:00.002+08:00

feelings are detemined by people who matter, not by any other people.

was feeling really angry and hurt by this particular sp***r, called kang and lorraine to seek opinions.

am glad tht i did the best i can, i dont feel tht i am in any wrong at all.

anyway, smth happened today, or rather it was piling up to this particular conclusion.

feel tht it is a blessing in disguise; through these we learn how much we have grown up.

i'm holding you true to your words, SMSes will be kept as evidence ok!

no more 10 years! yes!!!

2009-04-17T15:32:00.003+08:00

"I'm not a huge Rob Pattinson fan. Girls aren't really in love with Rob; they're in love with [his film character] Edward."
- Miley Cyrus tells the new issue of Teen Vogue

WORD!!!!

couldnt say it any better.

kinda mixed feelings abt new moon. on one hand i'm totally looking forward to the movie, but its gonna have little of edward! its all abt jacob and bella. bleaugh! who cares!!!

just give me edward anyday.

(and i wanna watch twilight AGAIN for the 3rd time!!!!!)

2009-04-16T04:16:00.002+08:00

jus random thoughts.

read back on a couple of my post when i was still teaching. man, i miss teaching and i definitely miss my kids. cant wait for TA to at least be here so i can teach! i cant wait to get out of N*E!!! its sucking the life outta me.

heard tht humanities teachers get extra money jus cos they teach humanities. how unfair. now my next plan in my teaching profession is to get a degree in english and literature so i can go teach english lit in a secondary school. preferably crescent, then i'll never leave crescent. HAHA! to think tht we were so silly last time, hoping for crescent JC, crescent university and crescent pte ltd.

omfg! i really wanna take a degree in english and literature from UNISIM! its really...WOW! all tht english and literature stuff!

i really wanna experience studying overseas for once. the feeling of living overseas and studying in another country. thts the experience tht i want, and an experience tht i will never get to experience. i chose this path, to remain in singapore, so tht dream of mine will nv come true. =(

2009-04-14T03:10:00.003+08:00

had to watch twilight twice to like it.

the first time watching it was horrid. too choppy for me, didnt develop bella and edward's love properly. grrr.

i'm still highly addicted to it. been reading the entire series nonstop.

and i asked kang, what is going to happen when i finish all the books?!

will entertain myself with true blood, another vampire show.

new moon will be out sometime in nov? or maybe later in singapore.

not really looking forward to new moon though. so little of edward!! T_T

really love the song they played during bella's prom and when she was dancing with edward. really calming and hypnotic....

Have I found you?

Flightless bird, jealous, weeping

Or lost you?

American mouth

Big pill looming

2009-04-08T23:34:00.004+08:00

i cant wait to watch twilight!!

&*&^*%#%$^#&^%&*(^*$

tmr..tmr...tmr quickly come....

i'm quite lucky tht i read the book after the movie came out. now i have a mental image of robert pattinson as edward, and not some fictitious character. if not, it'll be difficult to accept robert pattinson as edward.

omg i'm super addicted to it, i finished twilight in 2 days, and am reading pdf version of new moon. gahhh. trying to fight the urge to read more cos i wanna get my hands on all the books. sigh.

will hunt for the books tmr. tmr tmr tmr.....hurry!

[edit]
i'm craving for lok-lok! i want mushrooms! and long beans! gahhhhhhh. need to take new passport photo so i can make a new passport. zzzzzz $70 gone jus like tht. why is it so expensive to make a new passport!!!

2009-04-03T01:25:00.002+08:00

a quick blog just to remind everyone tht i am still alive.

south korea vs north korea match was way too exciting. i'm so glad south korea pulled through towards the end and scored! felt so good to see te ball hitting the back of the net. (though lee chun soo disappearing frm the face of the earth was really upsetting) i found a new eye candy to oggle from the korea team!! OMFG! i seriously cannot find a better picture to justify his CUTENESS but here is one semi-cute one:

one thing kang and i discovered while watching tht match is, never to call our son ming soon. cos its gonna be kang ming soon (read out loud). it left me and kang in giggles when he was reading out the korean squad list to me.

oh well thts abt it for now. looking forward to more matches! ^^

2009-03-14T01:28:00.003+08:00

i'm finally feeling much better, able to watch bai fen bai today. past few days i stayed away frm tht show, too painful to watch, feeling hurt and disappointed. tell me, am i crazy to feel this way?

its always in the middle of the night where you feel the most vulnerable, every small thing stabs straight to the most tender part of your heart.

jus read ah beh's blog. most of the things tht she blogged abt, i feel it too.

dont we all yearn for freedom frm our parents? despite being 23 this year, i still have to seek permission frm my mum to go out at night, still have to tolerate being scolded/nagged when i return home late at times. dont have the freedom of staying out whenever i want to, dont have the freedon of spending money on what i want to spend on without having to prepare myself for a nagging session.

its not tht i choose to turn this way, it was everything, tht caused me to lose heart in my family. why must i care so much? i dont see the need to care so much, i feel so distanced frm everyone, its not like in the past anymore. so why everytime blame me for not doing this, not doing tht for the family?

feel like my life is so meaningless. everyone will say wow you got a stable job, govt paying you to study, just study only so relax better than me working like crazy blah blah. but everyone has their own troubles in what they do right? my life is not better, studying is not better. how can studying be better when there is 30k or more weighing down on your shoulders? studying smth tht you didnt choose to study, smth tht you cant seem to excel in, yet die die must get a pass in all modules, or else be prepared to fork out 30k or more.

sorry, maybe i have been spoilt all my life, getting to study in schools tht i choose for first choice and courses tht i myself choose. thts why now i feel so meaningless, studying smth tht i didnt choose. you may argue tht i chose this job myself, but i'd rather TEACH, the study smth tht i feel so un-passionate about.

at the end of the day, moral learnt frm this is jus to grit my teeth and bear with it. i dont have a choice, do i?

sometimes i wonder, how come i cant be sure of what i want in life? how come i have no ultimate goal in life? its so tiring to live day by day, everything jus let it run its own course, no control over what happens. maybe this is the way i choose my own life to be, nobody to blame except myself then.

randomness, but its only once in awhile tht i get to rant like this on my blog. =(

2009-03-10T22:30:00.002+08:00

when i heard tht pig was REALLY coming to singapore in april, i felt fucked.

but thanks to kang and wei's undying believe and neverending consolation, i'm feeling much better! ^^

and kang is getting me wallet frm genting! wee~

thursday is coming, which means no school! then weekend is approaching soon. i'm so looking forward to school-less days.

i flunked my test, feeling kinda upset over it. have to work hard for the assignment and final exam now. =(

this is totally random. still feeling hyped over how hot ji hoo is in today's ep!!

2009-03-08T00:31:00.002+08:00

cant deny tht i'm kinda disappointed with the turn of events.

and i have no idea why but i have been affected by it for the whole day.

image destroyed?

or jus filled with doubts?

no idea at all....

upsets.....

just hope sung doesnt disappoint me in this way.....

2009-03-07T03:33:00.002+08:00

i did the most fangirl thing i ever did in my entire life.

i rushed down to rebel at 1.30am jus to spend 15minutes in close proximity with mr pig.

it was definitely worth it. our 亚洲舞王 was dancing jus less than 10cm away frm where i was seated.

the building up to tht was jus a mad rush of smses with cher, crazy caps lock msn conversation with wei and waking my mum up jus to tell her i was heading out.

i did my make up in less than 5mins, dressed in 2mins and threw all my belongings into my bag. speed walk to atm, withdraw cash and flag taxi down to the cannery.

still cant believe it, the feeling was so surreal. i'm still so excited i dont feel sleepy at all. OMFG.

OMFG

mr pig....

mr pig....

袁承烈...秦朗...元大鷹...

oh my goodness....i'm in pig heaven....

i'm in love again.

*dreamy smile*

2009-03-06T01:28:00.004+08:00

i cant help but blog abt this.

does this look familiar?!?!.

.
.
.
.
.

TADAHHHH!!!

woo jihoo and i have the same thingy!

and omg hyun joong is like the cutest/weirdest person on earth!

what kind of gloves are he wearing!? why so cute? there's like some chipmunk-ish thingy on it! HAHAHA!

and kim bum is getting married?!?!

anyway!

i'm supposed to be working on a lesson plan (AGAIN!!) but i got distracted again.

i have not watched the subbed version of ep 17! gahhh.. and there's still happy together to watch! hyun joong~

omg can i be ji hoo's pillion on his bike!!

i need to stop spazzing and get back to work. zzzz. weekends are here! which means mon/tues are coming! WOOOO~

i really wanna be a 宅女!

2009-03-01T17:08:00.002+08:00

drink, drank, drunk.

its been a long time....

rainy day = feeling emo and sleepy.

countless thoughts running through my head.

feel so tired, wanna slp the whole day but i have assignment to rush.

i.....

i dont know what i want to say anymore....

****
好心没好报，不被重视。死了算了。

better off dead.

full of fucked up shit.

dont tell me abt this and tht, or even what other people.

i dont care right now, cant even concentrate on my assignment.

all i wanna do is curl up in bed and sleep myself to death.

disappearing now.

2009-02-28T00:46:00.002+08:00

"when he starts blaming you for loss of freedom, thts when he doenst love you anymore."

heard this on the radio on the way home.

they also said tht there's no way you can crave for freedom when you're in love. marriage is sacrificing freedom.

jus wanna blog this down as i find it interesting.

am supposed to start on my assignment, but all i wanna do is watch shinhwa 10th anniversary concert. how how how?

yesterday was our 55th month! omg so many mths already? going to be 60mths soon!

should i add more hair extensions in? thinking of adding more in, i want thick hair!

2009-02-26T01:00:00.003+08:00

damn it.

have to wait another week for BBF.

my heart is breaking for ji hoo. <3 hyun joong!

my heart is also slightly breaking for joon pyo. damn it.

kdramas are seriously depressing.

HYD korea is definitely the best version.

only the koreans can do angst best.

whenever i watch ji hoo it feels like a hand is squeezing at my heart.

T_T

2009-02-18T22:40:00.003+08:00

BBF quote:

random hongkong baddie: "lei hai Prince Song?"
woo bin: "YEAHHH!"

LOL

[edit 19feb]
omg i had the most surreal dream where ji hoo was my boyfriend! it started with him still emo-ing abt min seo hyun in some random bar. heartbreaking man! the entire dream was heartbreaking cos we were both emo-ing nonstop. he even pillioned me on his bike so many times! omg omg omg! can i redream everything? it was such a nice dream!!

2009-02-12T16:13:00.002+08:00

*spasms and dies once again!!*

*spasms spasms spasms spasms*

will be back to blog at a later time!

2009-02-11T01:22:00.002+08:00

i miss:

we got married
crown j and seo in young
SHINHWA!! T_T
sung-ah..

hate school, hate having to wake up early.

i jus wanna rot at home all day, be a 宅女 all day long.

sigh. emo again? yes, i think so.

edit at 3.22am: emo emo again, cant slp, slping disorder. reading her blog again after so long, emo feelings surface again. how to break this vicious cycle? i jus hope its pms. let me slp, let me slp....

2009-02-08T20:17:00.003+08:00

summary of yesterday:

yummy crab dinner! omg crab overdose! love it love it love it!
clean caltex toilet which we visited 7683582685 times.
thai disco at golden mile complex
BEER!!!
PRETTY BOY!
thai girls prancing ard to wondergirls!
PRETTY BOY!!!!!
crazy dancing to old school techno.
heading to spize to kay-poh.
sitting opposite PRETTY BOY at spize.

all these lasted till 5+am. oh gosh how i wish i was young again. was deadbeat at ard....12am?! =\

[edit]feeling emo lately, listening to tht particular emo song really stabs at my heart...=([/edit]

2009-02-04T01:26:00.002+08:00

today i:-

PASED MY FTT! WOOOO~
finalised everything for bkk trip! excited man! will be flying on 20 feb and back on the 23rd. please pray tht there will be no unrests/protests frm now till the 23rd.
posted my first post at a community.

alright time for bed! counting down to payday and 8th lesson for both students. *BEAMS*

2009-01-24T00:55:00.002+08:00

bitten by hana yori dango bug AGAIN. this is like the 3rd time this is happening.

am so loving the korean version, not sure if its a bias opinion or not, but the korean version is damn good!

the whold freaking F4 is so hot! and everyone of them is seriously good looking!

watching hyun joong still makes me laugh though. cant get over his silly comments in WGM.

lee min ho is seriously HOT. he looks so much like jerry, and his with straight hair in the school uniform is too hot for words.

kim bum is CUTEEEEE with tht baby face of his and little earring. haha!

the last member of F4, not much screen time yet. looking forward to his part of the story. ^^

cant stop watching it, gossip girl and grey's have been placed on hold for now. =\

2009-01-22T23:37:00.003+08:00

ok this post is just to serve as a reminder to me.

i'm so getting stuff frm the paul & joe disney collection! so sweet looking!!

credit to http://www.kissandmakeup.tv/

marie milky lip treatment!

lady hand cream!
credit to http://www.musingsofamuse.com

too sweet for words! and i think it has not bad reviews! so gonna place an order for it as it has been out of stock so quickly! nyahhhhh! excited!!

2009-01-16T00:23:00.001+08:00

newest latest timetable is out. i have thursday free, no class on tht day. dont know whether to feel happy or upset over it. tuesday supposed to have 1hr class only but now i have class till 1630. and tuesday is ah fat's off day! if only he can change his off day to thursday........

school is boring and un-motivating as usual. cant wait for school days to quickly fly past. sigh. finding ways and means to enrich my life!

anyway i cant stop watching/listening to BoA's new song! omg her performance is seriously the best! she has rekindled her place as my IDOL yet again. needless to say, she's damn hot and pretty now!

HER HAIR IS SERIUSLY HOT. I WANT!!!!

can my hair grow faster please! this is like THE hairstyle tht i'm yearning for! frm the side-swept fringe to the length to the colour! how to achieve this fringe?! i've been trying to since i got my haircut! gahhhh!

gonna refrain frm cutting hair anymore. either tht or give in to my hair-extension crave. zzz.

gotta slp early. morning class tmr. sigh.

2009-01-02T16:57:00.006+08:00

NYE and NY was spent in JB with the fat, amos and sheryl.

had much fun pigging out and jus hanging out with them.

ended 2008 with one of the most delicious meals ever.

oatmeal prawns, gong bao frog, sambal sting ray, sambal kang kong, oyster omelette, salad you tiao. YUMMY! and chheap as well!

after our meal, we headed to some random pub at a hotel for drinks and countdown. on our way there, we saw people releasing fireworks behind a row of shop houses. manage to catch the fireworks show up close. pretty!

played monopoly over drinks at the pub with amos silly rules, resulting in 4 of us finishing 4 bottles of heineken and 1 bottle of red wine. kinda woozy after tht, went for supper without feeling very hungry. maggi goreng and the fried chicken was really delicious, pity i wasnt hungry enough to gobble down my own portion. =(

headed to amos' hse with the intention of continuing our monopoly session, but everyone was too tired so we jus watched dvds. finished quarantine (not nice at all!) and half of big stan. sleep was too tempting and couldnt tahan anymore.

nxt day was woken up early in the morning by amos's loud talking. LOL. went for brunch at a coffeeshop and shopping next!

nth interesting happened after tht and we headed back to singapore at night.

overall, it was a fun trip with lots of eating! i like! i very much prefer spending the major countdowns in quiet homely affairs as compared to squeezing with tons of people and sweating like crazy. =)

2008-12-30T15:54:00.002+08:00

too lazy to recap and blog abt what has been happening. i jus know tht i'm damn damn hungry now, contemplating whether to eat now or wait till my mum comes back. zzz.

since the new year is coming, here are my new year resolutions!

drink more water
sleep and wake up at the acceptable timings
stop skipping classes
start saving money

simple ones tht i hope to be able to keep. stuff like losing weight and all tht, i'm not so confident of doing so shall jus leave it out of the list. hopefully i'll be able to achieve those 4 simple resolutions. ;P

2008-12-16T13:13:00.007+08:00

GYAHHHHHH! i'm so excited after looking at the promo pics! HYUN JOONG~ i think since HYD i'm starting to lean towards hanazawa rui, all thanks to the pretty boys playing this part! cant wait for the korean version of HYD!

anyway, i'm listening to gido now. AHHHH reminds me of the part during the concert when sung bumped into eric! his surprised AH! and eric's sheer delight which resulted in him not being able to continue singing was jus too cute and sweet for words. RICSYUNG~~

i'm still contemplating if i should head to tampines for haircut. sigh. feeling lazy but cant stant my hair anymore!

also, it was ah fats's ORD yesterday~ wee~ we went to eastpoint to eat and i spent 100+ at watson's. booooo. however, i laid my hands on majorca foundation and its pretty case! havent tried it out yet though!

ok enough randomness. will blog proper when the occasion arises. ;P

2008-12-14T02:07:00.003+08:00

feeling emo suddenly.

watching ou xiang ju really makes me feel so damn emo.

been watching them without fail since last week. completed lan qiu huo and am completing dou niu yao bu yao soon.

sigh.

the thing abt ou xiang jus is tht some parts really apply to real life and some parts can never happen in real life. confusing? yes, i know. cant seem to express what i want to say.

read through a couple of really old blog entries. times in crescent and silly innocent fangirl times. no worries, jus playing and downloading korean stuff everyday.

found a meme where i listed ZHI as one of the people who changed my life! haha! i think i was/am too grateful to her for introducing shinhwa into my life.

and i remember going through a phase calling h.o.t. choti. and jia and i came up with calling hmv chmv! haha those silly times really were the most fun!

i would give anything to relive those days. fooling around in class and in school, after school head to town/tbp/wherever. val's favourite cahaya carrot cake, artistes shop at basement of taka, "stalking" daniel at kino(omg i jus searched his name through my archives and i realised i was CRAZY over him! for whatever reasons tht i cant even remember anymore!), slacking at kpop heaven, digging out kpop stuff at seoul plaza, going crazy over world cup /korea team/lee chun soo, eating the world cup special burger at macdonald's almost everyday! i could go on and on!

really wish time could stop. i'd rewind back to those fun times.

emo emo.

2008-12-10T04:19:00.001+08:00

O.M.G

one word - CHAIR!!!!!!!!!

*hyperventilates*

ok off to bed to dream of lovely ansty chuck.

2008-12-05T21:38:00.002+08:00

been busy lately.

busy at sitex last weekend. so many damn fricking people. dont understand why people like to squeeze with people. cant even get to the toilet in peace! and my kawaii newly-bought 2 day old cheeseburger-chan fell off my hp while squeezing! *angry

(anyway went to buy a new one today~ wee~)

then after the busy sitex, i was sick for 2 days this week. and today, when i finally recovered, i wasn hit by the 2nd/3rd worse cramps i've ever experience in my life. =(

was at lilliputt happily playing and suddenly, felt the urge to throw up and shit at the same time and i know tht its time to head home to my bed and super-powerful painkillers. sigh.

am back to thinking of wearing braces again. should i do it? even if i do, will choose to do it after CNY nxt year. sigh.

OH OH! I PASSED MY BTT! *elated* finally one step closer to the piece of plastic. waiting for wei to come back frm china to get contact for instructor! heh.

2008-11-25T02:37:00.002+08:00

i think i'm really quite suay, even my mum says so.

all along, civil servants like teachers have been getting not bad bonuses, i think last year was up to 3mths bonus?

jus "nice", when i join the service this year, major economic crisis resulting in financial downturn resulting in small bonus. gahhhhh! pay cut of up to 19% is expected even!

WTF!

dont even think they raise my pay by 19% man.

really sian half man.

hope the next few years wil be better. sigh.

(i know the terms used in this entry are kinda ah-lianish, but really, only such words can describe my feeling now. =\)

2008-11-21T00:56:00.003+08:00

OMG!!!

i cant find all my shinhwa CD casing! i only have all the CDs in a CD holder but no case!

this shows tht i really need to pack my room... gahhhhhhhhhhhh.

plus i cant find shinhwa 7jib, which is wedding!

arghhhhhh.

2008-11-19T02:04:00.006+08:00

finally laid my hands on shinhwa 10th anniversary concert dvd and watched it.

it was a freaking long concert, i think abt 3hrs plus?

the 3hrs was filled with laughter and tears.

its finally sinking in. after watching the concert, its finally sinking in tht shinhwa will be taking a break of 3-5yrs.

kinda depressed abt it, plus watching all of them break down at the end of the concert makes my heart ache.

slowly, one by one, they'll be enlisting.

first, its eric, on the 9th of oct. (but i heard tht eric gets to come home everyday? not sure abt it though.)

then, its dongwan on the 17th nov.

nxt will be jin, then minwoo then andy. poor sung will be all along then. sigh.

anyway, one thing i seriously detest abt the concert is minwoo. yes i know what's new right? but i really really tried to like him and enjoy what the showmanship he brings to the concert, but towards the end, it got kinda annoying, like he was running his own concert.

sigh sigh. feeling depressed all over again. grown men crying really get to me. esp sung crying, jus like the guerilla concert where i bawled my eyes out as well.

can imagine, 5yrs later i'm gonna be 27. will i still be crazy over them? or will they jus fade away frm my life and memory? i hope not, since they played a vital part in my teenage years. right now, i can safely say, yes i will await their comeback 5yrs down the road, but who knows what will happen in 5yrs time?

"Even when we leave and you can only see our backs, please always look at us with your smiling face so that when we turn around our heads even from very far away, we can only see your smiling face."

2008-11-14T19:00:00.003+08:00

[grey's rant]
OMFG! WTF is happening?!?! i cant bear another week. i NEED to find out what the hell is going on!

why the fuck is denny back? is he really seriously REAL?!!? is izzie going crazy? or is there some long lost twin brother of denny?

seriously WTF!!

anyway owen hunt and cristina really need to get it on! the kiss was SO HOT!

poor alex, he's trying to help izzie but she's going a bit crazy!

denny?!?! denny is alive?!?! as in not dead?!?!

kill me, the suspense is killing me!!!
[/grey's rant]

2008-11-13T09:27:00.005+08:00

argh!

after watching fancams of sung's concert in shanghai, i deeply REGRET not going!

omg i swear its so high la! and un-sung like! definitely hotter and sexier than the first concert!

damn it damn it!

will be back to watch more of it after the dreaded &^%$#%$^^% math exam!

[edit 1]
omg! watching sung sing english songs are surprisingly arousing. esp his choice of songs this time round, i'll make love to you! omg omg omg! super sexayyyyyyy!!! but seriously can the chinese fans stop talking?!?! i keep hearing chattering in the background of the fancams. gahhh.

2008-11-09T16:22:00.005+08:00

i'm finally 22!

thanks for all the wishes, sms, facebook wall post, friendster comments!

honestly, i dont feel much different, jus feeling older. birthday also didnt feel like any special day, jus an outing day with the girls.

photos will be up in facebook when i'm free-er.

i remember when i was young, i told my mum i want to be married at 22. now tht i'm 22, i'm starting to think if its too young. truthfully, i CAN imagine myself married now, at least engaged. however, marriage is a two-way thing, doesnt mean tht i can imagine myself married and i want to get married means i will be married. i still need to find the one person who is willing to marry me right? oh well, luckily none of my friends are getting married now or else i'll definitely be bitten hard by the wedding bug!

anyways! counting down to 7 more days before the ah fat comes back! omg i'm so happy and excited! its been a long 2 weeks, waiting and waiting for him. how come i'm always the one waiting huh! i dont care, nxt will be me going on a 10weeks trip to korea for my korean course! muahaha~ (though tht may happen anytime frm now to 5yrs later..=\)

i know my blog has been boring due to the lack of pictures, but i promise i'll try to improve the situation ok? anyways, reminder to self: have yet to meet up with zhiweitao, cher and the chums.

[edit]
omg i know my birthday is (almost) over, but can i jus ask for this?! i want the agnes b limited edition starry tote in large size! omg its so pretty and i LOVE stars~ however, i cant decide on which colour! pink or red?!?! need to go check out the real item. gahh....

2008-11-09T00:00:00.007+08:00

birthday wishlist~

Shinhwa: Shinhwa Must Go On 10th Anniversary Live in Seoul DVD
(i've already placed order for this)

Shin Hye Sung Vol.3 - Side 1 : Live And Let Live

The Greatest Artist SHINHWA in 1998-2007

~~Anna Sui's Flight of Fancy perfume~~

Burberry Blue Label Wallet

~~Tickets to Kpop Night Concert~~

~~Canon Powershot E1 in Cotton Pink~~

Apple iPod Touch

2008-11-05T15:52:00.004+08:00

my dream came true of the 2 and 1/3 time again yesterday! why 2 and 1/3? cos only andyah and junjin came yesterday. sigh. if only all of them were here, i'd be happier. but it wont be happening for a long time, cos eric is in the army, and the rest will be entering soon as well, except for my sung. sigh.

last night was quite high cos the all the koreans ard me. heh. seo in young is so pretty! i really really like her now man. catching up on WGM currently. wondergirls are so great as well! 2pm too! hehs.

been hermit crab-ing lately. hiding at home to read and watch shows. sigh. life without ah fat is really boring. at least now i'm almost done with heroes season 2.

holidays are coming real soon, can foresee my days will be spent holed up at home, snuggled in bed with a book or with my lappie. i'm glad i can borrow 8 books frm the library now.

intended to head down to square 2 to catch jewelry, but was too tired and lazy to make the trip down. oh well, i'm watching seo in young online now too!

anyway photos of kpop night are in my facebook. go check it out!

2008-11-02T18:10:00.002+08:00

sigh.

its MY birthday, why am i worrying so much?

why should i care if so and so will feel weird or not?

maybe i'm expecting too much by thinking tht since its MY birthday everyone should give in to me? is it too much?

or am i just asking for too much by wanting to throw everyone together?

this is what you get when you dont have a specific clique. this is what you get when you dont have a PERSON.

i'm fucking upset. plus ah fat has been MIA for almost 3 days.

pms is rearing its ugly head.

i jus wanna hide at home everyday.

no plans for my birthday.

where are you when i need you? probably in some desert mingling with kangaroos. ='(

2008-10-30T22:40:00.007+08:00

hmm. been sourcing for holiday places for the upcoming december holidays.

taiwan and hongkong most probably will not be ideal as its winter season and has nothing much to buy.

bangkok is still under consideration but doesnt seem safe lately.

bintan and batam seem like good spots, but i'm looking towards a more relaxing holiday as i do not like sea sports and absolutely hate the sun. wanted to stay in a villa but bintan and batam dont seem to have really pretty ones.

i finally found a place tht looked totally heavenly and is affordable!

PHUKET!

i was looking for someplace with pool access directly frm the hotel room as i remembered coming across a really pretty photo album of a villa, but its too expensive, way out of my budget.

luckily, i managed to chance upon another resort with pool access frm all its rooms, and the rooms look really pretty and villa-like. best of all, its having a promotion on its rooms with really affordable rates!

pool access frm hotel room!

enormous bed and pool access again!

absolutely heavenly!!!

check it out!

The Access Resort & Villas
http://www.accessresort.com/

2008-10-29T01:20:00.003+08:00

ahthe nights are most unbearable.

no actually the mornings are.

or maybe even afternoons in class.

come to think of it, every minute is unbearably long.

are you missing me as much as i am missing you?

i cant wait.

looking forward to your next form of contact.

counting down to your return.

16nov.

18 more days.

sigh....

2008-10-20T22:29:00.003+08:00

i really wonder what am i doing with my life.

i'm faltering, faltering really badly.

how am i going to bear these 2 years?

i'd take going back to teach anytime. give me my 3responsibility anytime!

whoever said N*E was enjoyable? are you kidding me?

i'm so so so sick of studying.

maybe i was spoilt my whole life, studying in schools that i have chose myself, studying courses that i wanted to study.

now, this jus seems like a waste of my time.

everyone envies me for being paid to study. but do they know how stressful it is? how dry the modules are? how much shit work there is?

will i successfully complete these 2yrs? or will i be kicked out?

anyone has money to lend me in case i get kicked out and need to pay back?

=(

2008-10-16T00:15:00.008+08:00

i will always remember crescent's graduation.

the graduation held in school was a farewell to all the secondary 4 students, resulting in endless tears and swollen eyes in photographs.

graduation dinner was held at meritus mandarin, dinner and some entertainment was provided in the ballroom. i'll never forget the graduation dinner we had.

all the rushing around looking for something to wear meant endless shopping and trying on of pretty things! actual day itself was rushing around getting things done, getting make up and hair ready, checking into hotel and what not.

during the dinner itself, crazy photo taking was going all around us, but michelle seah and i chose to gobble down the food that was served. haha! in the end, i didnt have much photos of the graduation dinner cos i was just too busy stuffing food into my tummy. ;P

after the dinner was jus slacking and chilling out in the hotel room we booked. removing of make up and washing of hair was done with mush fun! as the night wore on, i remember the room filling with more people, and we all had to sleep in really weird positions, like 3 people to a single bed!

ultimately, it was an experience i'll never forget! i'm missing crescent days like crazy, and i'd give anything to go back in time to experience it all over again....

talking about graduation, the high school musical cast will be graduating this year too! cant wait to watch it as i've caught the previous 2 movies!

Catch Walt Disney Pictures' High School Musical 3: Senior Year in cinemas from October 24!

2008-10-10T23:13:00.004+08:00

[grey's rant]
OMG OMG i love grey's anatomy!! its got to be the best show ever! better that heroes!

I LOVE IT WHEN ALEX SAID "HELLO" TO IZZIE! tht part made me cry!

alex and izzie should be together!!!

its seriously so good! i cant wait for next week's episode!
[/grey's rant]

gahhhhh! i'm hooked onto american shows!

2008-10-09T23:33:00.002+08:00

spent the past few nights looking at old photos of me and kang and crescentians. super hilarious yet brought back many many memories.

wish tht i could go back in time, enjoy crescent life all over again. sigh.

birthday in exactly a month's time, thinking of what i want for my birthday! heh. shall go window shopping soon! =P

anyway, was thinking of having nice steamboat for my birthday but decided that i want to go to jumbo seafood! i have not settled my craving for crabs so my birthday's got to be the best time to have them right! my dear crescentians (lor's group + zhi's group), can we go for a feast at jumbo? the outlet at the indoor stadium! very pretty~ more people going = more food to order! can have all kinds of crabs! wee~

sigh. ah fat wont be around during my birthday! T_T

schoolwork is piling up, but i cant seem to stop watching shows online. zzz

my blog is turning random and boring. =(

2008-10-06T18:07:00.001+08:00

jus a normal girl with a normal dream.

a piece of plastic, followed by a big piece of metal.

am i able to achieve this?

maybe setting a goal for myself will work better. time to start taking steps to achieving the piece of plastic first.

2008-10-05T17:17:00.005+08:00

feeling bored on a sunday afternoon.

have been spending my time watching heroes season1&2, gossip girl season2, grey's anatomy season5 and ugly betty season3.

these resulted in a very gossipgirl dream. dreamt of serena, dan, chuck. dreamt tht i was in love with chuck, in love with his tough exterior but torn and broken interior. dream was too surreal and too weird. i'm going to end up watching gossip girl with a different mentality frm now on. gahhh.

need to buy an external HDD soon, my lappy is exploding with all the downloads going on.

wish tht i was back in genting. loved the weather so much tht i kept making kang walk outside with me. cold and constantly having my head in the clouds. super relaxing, only problem was i kept feeling hungry and had to eat every other hour. gahhhh!!

will blog proper when i have smth interesting to blog abt. for now, will go back to my heroes!

2008-09-18T17:55:00.005+08:00

you know what's the best birthday present i can ever ask for?

chances of all free air tickets and accomodation to shanghai? HIGH.

chances of going to concert? LOW.

who can go with me? i dont wanna be there alone. plus can i even lug my poster up the plane as carry on luggage?

ahhhhhhh.

2008-09-11T15:26:00.003+08:00

"okay rumors that shanghai concert for hyesung will be on 8th of nov. now they are waiting for the documention approval... venue same as the 678 shinhwa concert... wow thats big then."

ok! so for my lonely lonely birthday this year, PLEASE BUY ME TICKETS TO SUNG'S CONCERT IN SHANGHAI!!!

since sone love will be in australia (!$%#^%!%$^%$&$) during tht time, ALLOW ME TO BE WITH MY OTHER LOVE!!!

i am seriously seriously considering this option. anyone wanna go with me? and its in shanghai! does this mean free air tickets and free accomodation sponsored by grandpa?

GAHHH!

should i should i should i should i!?!

2008-09-04T00:44:00.003+08:00

emo feelings heaping on and on.

sometimes i wonder why i like to self-torture so much. reading their blogs, making myself feel their lost. does it make me want to cherish more? or does it simply make me paranoid of losing?

today, her post brought tears to my eyes again. i dont blame her for feeling tht way. its natural, to want to end the suffering once and for all. now, i feel tht all heartbreaks tht i've been through have been so trivial. i think the ultimate heartbreak is losing FOREVER, as in the person is no longer there.

i guess life revolves ard all the could-have-beens.

jus found out lately tht one of my good friends in school is best buddies with the gf of one of my ex-bfs. suddenly overcame with a weird feeling, some emotion tht i couldnt place my finger on. i guess its curiosity? wanting to know how he has been since so many years ago, what has been going on and all tht.

shared with lorraine the piece of news. she asked if i regretted? i said no, not at all. i said you'll only regret when you're unhappy with your current relationship, so i do not regret.

maybe kang and i did not turn out the way i envisioned us to be, but at the end of the day, i dont regret. i dont deny tht sometimes a small nagging at the back of my mind asks me what could have been? but at the end of the day, majority of the time, i dont question.

i always question myself, is this out of habit or still love? i cant answer tht queston, the line has been blurred. habit, yes, to an extend. it has been four years, of cos its a habit. its a habit tht when i have smth to share, be it happy or sad, the first one i think of is kang. its a habit tht weekends will be spent with him, unless i'm super tired or have other commitments. its a habit tht if we dont have plans to go out, i'll automatically head over to his place.

yet at the same time, there is still love. the feeling when his arm automatically hugs my shoulders when we're walking, the feeling of holding hands, of hugging, still feels so good, like the first time. there's jus so much being transmitted through touch.

emo emo thoughts and random ranting. suddenly my mind drew a blank after working overdrive in the earlier part of this blog. sigh.

2008-09-01T23:51:00.003+08:00

gahhh... new movies tht i am dying to catch!

HANA YORI DANGO FINAL! omg i am so looking forward to this! its gonna air in sg on the 4th sept. who will watch this with me?! i think i'm the only one who watched the series. and i think i'm really some hana yori dango fan. i watched the anime, read a bit of the manga, watched the TW version, watched the JAP version and now i'm looking forward to the korean version! wee~ i'm dying to watch HYD FINAL!

and MY SASSY GIRL! actually i'm feeling quite mixed abt watching this. i'm afraid tht it'll fall short frm the original korean one cos the korea version has got big shoes to fill. it was one of the greatest korean movie all time! gahhhhh...

OH hit by some inspiration! i must write now! will blog proper again. *runs*

2008-08-31T02:21:00.003+08:00

sigh need to diet!

cant stand the feeling of having clothes to wear but are unable to wear.

hate the conscious feeling tht some roll/s of fat is/are hanging out when i wear smth.

i need to see my bones again, i miss them.

i want smaller thighs, non-existent tummy and collarbones sticking out.

i dont want fat cheeks anymore.

and definitely weight to reach 42kg.

but! i keep feeling hungry, i feel hungry all the time. i cant stop eating, esp all the yummy yummy food.

i will cut down on rice. i will go back to my muesli bar eating. i will stop drinking soft drinks. i will minimise supper and fast food.

I MUST HAVE THE MOTIVATION/JUE XIN!

and i hope tht this will help me save money. i have no idea where all my money has flown to.

fuck.

2008-08-27T00:27:00.009+08:00

OMFG.

*DIES*

*DIES AGAIN*

fuckity fuck. how can one get HOTTER and HOTTER as time goes by?

emo boy, i am loving you and your new rocker image. MMMMMM~ i love me some rock sung.

fuck, how do i stop these surges of goosebumps frm emerging again and again?

[fangirl rant]
i really love you you know. you're the only one who can turn me into a pile of fangirl slush time and time again. it has been 6 freaking yrs. i am bloody 22 this year, yet i cant stop being fangirly over you. i want to go to korea to stalk you so badly. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[/fangirl rant]

*DIES ONE LAST TIME*

2008-08-21T16:23:00.003+08:00

OMFG!

my prince is back!

*spasms and dies*

will blog proper when i get the mood. meanwhile, jus oogling at his near-naked body is enough to keep me going.

2008-08-13T23:27:00.008+08:00

i realised i really like cats, be it hello kitty or not.

many of my belongings have cats on them. i'm gonna showcase them in my blog today!

my key holder..

my wallet..

my pencil case for school..

my file for school...

my sweets pouch...

newly bought pouch for my hp and earphones...

had dinner with the chums today. though it was a short meet up (sue to ah fee having to go back to orrpid..grrr!), i had fun. missed them loads, esp fee who craps with me without fail. =D

after the dinner, i went walking ard by myself. felt the need to shop and buy things again! went to heeren, bought myself a ring. my previous flower ring keeps spoiling, heard from somewhere tht wearing a ring on the index finger will prevent one from lou cai so i decided to try! lol. then headed to cine to go to maemeemoo as usual! bought my pretty hp pouch, green tea candy and some mystery box with disney characters in it in the form of cookies. for those who know, i have one of stitch tht came frm the gashapon machine, but this one is WAYYYY cuter!

see the box!

*drumrolls*...what did i get?!

MARIE!!!!!! have not decided where to put her though! another collection to my cat-belongings. ^.^

this concludes the end of my very bo liao blog post.

goodnight everyone!

2008-08-12T00:46:00.005+08:00

i'm in love with zhi shu! he looks like a damn good kisser, so many kissing scenes in they kiss again! and his sexy lips..YUM!

my current new obssession --> BIG BANG! their songs are really good man. ^^

celebrated xiu's bday on fri. had yummy thai food at vivocity and headed down to settlers @ holland v as usual.

ignore my fat thighs please. =(

happy birthday my dear xiu! hope you enjoyed yourself!

i'm ready to sign up for korean lessons, but i have no time to learn. sigh. my schedule is so damn packed, sch everyday at weird timings sometimes draggin on till evening time. travelling time is also a major killer.

sigh. long day at sch tmr. wish me all the best. ='(

2008-08-06T23:58:00.005+08:00

my worst nightmare is back to haunt me.

MATHS.

i thought i was rid of you the moment i stepped out of crescent.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

you're back to haunt me. you make me feel like the stupidest person in the entire class. you make me feel like i'm not fit to teach you!

*)&(*^&^^%%$#%$^*&(^

HELP.

*bursts into tears*

self-diagnosed ARITHMOPHOBIC.

[edit]

lorraine helping me. LOL

2008-08-01T19:26:00.002+08:00

timetable is out and its seriously lame shit!

going to school for one hour a day is bad enough, but 2 freaking days?!

wtf.

totally sian. imagine travelling like hell to get there then attend 1hr tutorial and then travel like hell back home. gahhhhhhhh.

on a brighter note, i finally got the viewty! and i've got a new number too. those who want it, please email me or msn me. you know where to find me. ;P

tmr i'm gonna go catch the ndp! wee~ please dont be too hot and sunny! and no rain also. i jus want cloudy and breezy. =)

2008-07-28T22:09:00.005+08:00

sch is seriously boring. i cant wait for lessons to start proper. briefings are jus a waste of time. seriously zzz inducing.

good news is no sch for this week till fri! yipee~ i'm gonna sleep in and plant myself in front of the comp. =D

i'm thinking of buying either a 2nd hand phone or getting my beloved 7390 fixed. sigh. the bloody iphone is taking ages to arrive! and playing with kang's sis' iphone yesterday made me more gian in getting one! grrr...

latest news is tht it will be out on aug 22! if the date keeps getting pushed back, i think all those who are on the reservation list will get sian very soon. kinda like the boy who cried wolf. the singtel who cried iphone!?

saturday night's ride in an open-top convertible was definitely an eye-opener and hair-raising experience!

happy 4th anniversary! thanks for all the silly-ness. =D

2008-07-23T17:59:00.002+08:00

first day back at school today after such a long time. whole day was jus briefing and briefing and more briefing. super cold and sleepy in the lecture theatre. everything is seriously like back in NP. at least this time round i'm prepared and wont get the rude shock i had years ago in NP.

i'm sick. flu and ithy sneezy nose. =( please stop these sneezy feeling and cold spells. sigh.

i MUST stop shopping. save up the monies for driving and eventually a car. sigh sigh sigh.

going for tuition later. 1.5 hrs will pass quickly! 1 more kid will be added to my list soon. hopefully school's workload wont be too taxing. i dont want to tire myself out and fall sick frequently. MUST remember to take vitamin pills. sigh.

2008-07-13T11:29:00.003+08:00

depressed.

realised tht after living almost 22yrs on this earth, i will nv be treated as an adult fit enough to make my own decisions.

not one, not two, but so many of my decisions have been shot down.

why cant you all jus encourage me instead of discourage me?

i believe i am able to make sound decisions on my own.

doesnt having a stable job show anything?

how can i confide in you if what i get in return is a big raining on my parade?

maybe i shuld jus take things in my own hands, make my own decisions and not consult anyone. maybe thts the only way...

2008-06-21T16:36:00.001+08:00

i jus signed away 5 yrs of my life to the governemnt this morning.

will blog in detail soon. =\